News Alert: Sexting incident at New Trier High School

Sexting. Not my kid. My kid would never do that. I hear it at every parent presentation and quite honestly, I would probably say the same thing about my own kids if I didn’t know better. The consequences are becoming more and more severe for  anyone caught sending and/or receiving pornographic images.  The most recent incident in the news, New Trier Sexting, has occurred in one of the most affluent suburbs of Chicago, Winnetka, at one of the most highly rated public high schools in the country, New Trier High School. I would bet the farm that the parents of these 12 kids would have made the same claim ‘My kid would never do that.’ They will, they did, and now the punishment is swift and severe along with the publicity and humiliation.

I choose to be an optimist when it comes to kids. I think that the majority of kids that make this mistake are more ignorant of the real harm they are causing as well as the consequences of getting caught. In a survey by DoSomething.org, 40% of teens that sext say that they do it as a joke. I don’t believe that these teens are trying to peddle porn. I believe that they, somehow, think it is funny to do this. Yes, it is cruel, mean and sick, but probably not done out of a criminal motivation.

This is where we come in as parents. We need to start these conversations early, probably earlier than you would like or are comfortable with. However, kids as young as 10, 11, 12 are sexting! We need to educate them not only that it’s wrong but also about the consequences of such online behavior.

Starting these conversations can be very uncomfortable for you and for your child. In my blog Snapchat: Do these pictures really disappear forever? I suggested some ways to initiate conversations about topics such as sexting. One suggestion was to find a current, relevant article to share with your child and then open up a discussion about it. Here’s your chance. There are a couple of different topics in this one article:

• Ask your child for his thoughts and opinions on the peer jury.
• What does your child think is an appropriate punishment?
• What would your child do if he was the recipient of such pictures?
• How did the pictures originate?

I think that you might be surprised at the opinions that our children have and the stories that they might offer about similar situations.

As I was writing this blog, I ran this exact experiment on my 16 year old.  I showed him the article and asked what he thought. It was hard to get him talking. I got a small window to ask him what he would do if he ever receives a sext. He said he would simply delete it. I told him that legally that is not enough. According to Detective Rich Wistocki out of the Naperville Police Department, he needs to do two things: 1.He needs to tell the sender to stop sending him the pictures. 2. He needs to tell a parent, teacher, etc. that he received this. Remember, both the sender and the recipient are guilty if these two actions are not taken. I have to admit that the information was received as most 16 year old boys would receive it….an eye roll and a nod. But he heard me and has now seen a real world example of the consequences for the 12 kids from New Trier.