Helping Our Kids Process Digital Media About Capitol Riots

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The events of Wednesday, January 6th will not soon be forgotten regardless of your political preferences and beliefs. These events continue to dominate the news cycle in various forms, and so we continue to relive the events repeatedly. News stories, op-eds, video footage, and even various memes can be found everywhere on the Internet.

As some of you may or may not know, my three kids are in that in between place…physically, they look and sound like full-grown adults, but mentally and emotionally, they aren’t quite there yet. They have limited life experiences and are just beginning to form their own thoughts and opinions on the world we are living in.

This weekend, as I continued to scroll through my newsfeed like a drug addict looking for my next score, I realized that tweens and teens, my kids included, are deeply exposed to these events on their own feeds.

According to Common Sense Media, 54% of teenagers say they get their news from social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and even TikTok. 50% of those surveyed reported getting their news from YouTube, which means they are more likely to learn about current events by watching videos as well as getting the reports from social media personalities. It begs the question “How accurate and credible is the information?”

This made me wonder What are my own kids seeing, reading, and talking about as it relates to these events?

In February 2018, we experienced another national tragedy, the mass shooting at Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL. Many school administrators reached out to me looking for suggestions for their parent communities as they grappled with how to talk about this horrific event with their kids. In many ways, the events of last week bring up many similar concerns:

  • What information are our kids hearing, watching, and reading? There is significant footage of violence, vandalism, and foul language that comes with news reports. For example, I went to YouTube and searched “Capitol mob footage” and here is the first result I received. It makes me uncomfortable to watch, so how would an eleven or twelve year old feel?
  • How credible are the sources of the media that our kids are consuming? Kids have little to no interest in verifying online sources for credibility or to understand what bias is being presented. As we know, the Internet is filled with misinformation as well as heavily biased content. This is a great opportunity to remind them to be aware, question, and research the source of information.
  • How are our kids processing the information? When I was a child, I watched coverage of world events on a television, in a living room, with family members. My parents could sensor or filter what I heard or how much information I watched about the event. They could see how I reacted to the information. How did I process this in my fragile tween and teen brain? Could I handle it? Did I need to talk about it? Fast forward to today. Children watch coverage, see graphic videos, and learn details, on a smartphone, in a bedroom, ALONE. They process their emotions of fear, anxiety, and confusion alone and without conversation with family, thus missing out on reassurance, clarity, and comfort.

As a parent, I forget that my kids are hearing about these events because I do not actually see them watching TV. When it dawns on me that I should check in with them, it is clear that they are very informed of the events and must be getting this information online.

Here is our opportunity to engage in dialog. But how can you safely and in a non-threatening way, start a conversation? That is always the challenge, especially with teenagers. Here are a few suggestions that might help get the conversation started:

  • What have you heard about the Capitol riots?
  • Have you watched any videos from the riots?
  • How do you feel when you watch the footage?
  • Where online do you go to learn about this?
  • What do you think about all this?

I always remind parents, myself included, to do your best to provide kids the space to talk. Take the time to listen. Understand their thoughts and opinions. Do more listening than speaking. I find that simple responses like “really” and “oh” help to create safe space for them to open their thoughts and feelings. Finally, after a productive conversation with my kids, regardless of whether their thoughts align with me, I often text them an article that might be helpful to them. I truly believe that sometimes the best parenting is just being there and quietly listening, supporting and mentoring.