This is the 1st installment of a three part series related to choosing a smartphone for your child.

Are you feeling like the holiday season has completely snuck up on you? Didn’t we just finished cleaning out Thanksgiving leftovers from the fridge and now we are in a panic trying to get the perfect gifts for our children?

Many kids are either asking for their first mobile device or looking for a replacement for their current device. Most of the kids are fairly specific in which phone they want…iPhone, hands down. If you ask why it needs to be an iPhone, the reasons get rather vague.  I know this first hand as I just went through it with my 16 year old a month ago. He was insistent that it was iPhone or nothing. When I asked him why it could not be a state of the art Android, the response I received was ‘just because’. For most kids, the main reason that they want an iPhone is the same reason they need a Northface jacket….it’s popular, trendy, and what they know.

Before you go out and buy that iPhone 6, I challenge you to consider an Android device. You might feel like you don’t have a minute to spare researching the differences, but the work has been done for you. Take 5 minutes to read this comparison of iPhone vs. Android. It is a fair and easy to follow breakdown of the differences between the two types of devices: Android vs. iPhone for kids.

This article does a nice job of discussing the pros and cons of the two types of devices. In my opinion, the #1 reason to go Android over iPhone is because the Android provides the ability to use parental monitoring software. While the article mentions some specific software, I have found My Mobile Watchdog to be outstanding. I use this on my own my kids’ devices.

I have been asked many, many times about options for monitoring an iPhone. Some parents use the iCloud to see the texts that their children send. Other parents have tried to use ‘Jailbreak’ software to monitor the phone. Both of these options have so many limitations that they just aren’t worth it. At the end of the day nothing beats the functionality of software like My Mobile Watchdog if you are truly interested in keeping your child safe online.

Next installment will look at the functionality of My Mobile Watchdog in greater detail.

The most popular slide as part of my Internet Safety Curriculum to parents is titled ‘The Basics for Kids’. It is a slide that lists 6 quick and easy tips for kids that will increase their safety. Many people ask me for a copy of this particular slide. I decided that a quick blog entry listing these tips with an explanation would be very helpful to people. Here they are.

1. Change your password after logging on to another device – Most operating systems remember passwords. When your child uses a friend’s device to log on to mail, social media, or an app, the operating system will remember the password. When a  few letters of the user name is entered, the rest of the user name appears and self populates both the user name and the password that goes with it. You can imagine the problems this can cause. Children change ‘best friends’ quickly and often leave some harsh feelings in their wake. The safest procedures to put in place is to teach your children to change a single letter or number in the password whenever they sign on to a device that is not their own. No need to get into a discussion about the status of the friendship. Just make it a hard and fast policy with no questions asked.
2. Never give out personal information online – You certainly cannot remind your kids often enough about this rule. This includes, and certainly is not limited to, full name, age, location, phone number, family members’ names, etc. Along those same lines, remind them never to post vacation pictures. This is a clear sign that your house is empty and can be easily burglarized.
3. Make sure location services is ‘off’ for the camera – There is a switch on every device that contains a camera called location services. When this is set to ‘on’, every picture and video captured with that device has metadata attached to the picture or video that provides location specific information, i.e. latitude and longitude coordinates of where the image was taken. When the pictures are posted to social media, that information about your child is readily accessible by people that you do not want knowing your child’s home address or hang out spots. You can keep location services on for applications that need it, like Google Maps, Gas Buddy, etc.
4. Never share a password – Like #2, you cannot tell your child this tip often enough. ‘But Mom, she is my best friend!’ Friends come and friends go, especially at the ages of 10-18. The key is to get our kids to understand the power of the password and that the only people who are entitled to that power are themselves and parents.
5. Password protect cell phones – Kids lose their phones, as well as get them stolen, very often. Similar to the power of the password, if someone picks up your child’s phone and it is unprotected, that person has the power of the password and can do very serious damage in your child’s name. One example of this is the story of the new girlfriend who picked up the boyfriend’s phone on a bus when he wasn’t looking. She texted the old girlfriend, posing as the boy, and said something like ‘I wish I never went out with you and I wish you would die.’ Unbelievable, I know, but it is a true story. The old girlfriend was found a day later after killing herself. Had that phone been password protected, that may not have happened.
6. Add the app Fone Home to cell phones – Available for both iPhones and Androids, this web based app allows you to track your lost or stolen device. It has several interesting features including setting up a siren to help locate the device even if it is on vibrate, which can be helpful when the device is lost at a soccer field! Check it out: Fone Home. Here is a description of some of the features:

Obviously, there are many tips we can use to keep both our kids safe and their devices safe. These are just a few. Please feel free to comment if you have some others that would be helpful to people.

Did you hear that Snapchat was hacked, also known as ‘The Snappening’? The hackers claim that they will be releasing up to 200,000 pictures from Snapchat. Many of these images are nude or semi nude pictures that kids, as young as 10 or 11 years old, have snapped to other people. Half of Snapchat users are teenagers. Soooo…..once again, take this chance to remind your young ‘snapper’ that nothing disappears on the internet. Nothing. Ever.

Do you think your child is using Snapchat? Have you talked to her about the reality of disappearing pictures? It can be a tough discussion especially when you talk about the nature of some of these pictures. One of the best ways to generate a discussion with children is to take the attention off of them. They tend to get defensive, discount what you say as ‘you don’t know what you are talking about’, and shut down. One suggestion is to have them read an article about the incident. There are many out there.  Just Google ‘The Snapping’. Then ask them what they think about it. Believe it or not, kids have strong opinions about this stuff. They may not always be too accurate, but they have them. Once you get them comfortable talking, they will probably have a story or two about what has happened to them or their friends.

In case you are not all too familiar with Snapchat, let’s take a second to give you the basics.

What is it?

Snapchat is a photo messaging application. Users can take pictures, record videos, add text and drawings, and send it to a list of recipients. The attraction, especially for kids, is the concept that the photo ‘disappears’ after a defined amount of time, 1-10 seconds. The intent of the founders was to created a social network with greater privacy than other social networks, like Instagram and Facebook.

Like many social networks, users must be 13 years old, which really doesn’t slow down any 10, 11, or 12 year old. As long as simple math can be done, 2014-13, anyone can set up an account.

How popular is it?

Pretty popular! Snapchat was launched in September, 2011. As of September 2014, there are 100 million monthly active users. And how many snaps does that amount to? Ready for this? The number of snaps per day is 400 million! Holy Snapchat! Clearly it has the attention of the public, specifically, the 10-17 year old public.

What are the dangers?

The most obvious danger is the incorrect perception that the image ‘disappears’. Let me say it one more time. Nothing. Disappears. On. The. Internet. While most kids cannot hack into the Snapchat servers, they sure are capable of taking a screenshot. Yes, a notification is sent to the sender that a screenshot was taken. But so what? Who cares? Certainly not the receiver that took the screenshot because the photo is now saved and in his possession.

A second danger is the false sense of security that the disappearing picture perception gives kids. Those that have previously exercised good judgement in their picture choices, now feel more comfortable pushing the envelope on the type of pictures and get a little more daring. There is a lot of pressure to get edgier, more daring. Why not? It’s fun and the picture is gone in 10 seconds. Right? Not so much.

What can you do?

As always, communicate with your child.  Find a way to start a dialog on this topic. Most often, kids are simply unaware of the dangers and the implications of inappropriate actions. Children, especially the 10, 11, and 12 year olds, are very literal. We tell them that the picture never goes away. They nod their heads as if they understand. However, when I teach kids, I hear more often than not ‘My mom told me that, but I didn’t really understand what she meant.’ They need concrete examples and stories that they can relate to and connect the dots.

Privacy Settings

I, actually, had never heard about privacy settings for Snapchat. But yes, there are a couple. There is one for who can send you snaps and another for who can see your stories. Follow this link for easy to follow instructions on how to set this for your child. Snapchat Privacy Settings

At the end of the day, Snapchat, like most apps, is a fun social network. The key is for you to understand the app, its risks, and communicating to your child about appropriate usage and dangers.

I know you have all heard of the “Cloud”. Your kids might have said things like “Oh, it’s up on the cloud” or “I’ll pull it off the cloud.” They might even turn in homework through the cloud.

Let’s be honest….how many of us really know what in the world they are talking about? How many of us picture the homework assignment floating on a white, puffy cloud amongst a pretty blue sky? Sure, you may be able to fake your way through a cocktail party conversation on the topic, but if someone called you out to explain it, I’m guessing your ship would be sunk.

So why is this post about the cloud? Good question. The main reason is to help you gain a better understanding of what our children already innately know and understand. One of my philosophies is that our job as parents is to educate ourselves about the world that our children are growing up in. If we want to guide them safely and gracefully into adulthood, then we need to understand the landscape of their world.

Here’s a little secret: You just need to know enough so that your children THINK you know more! You do not have to know more than they do in order to build your credibility with them. Actually, you do not even have to know as much as they do. You just need to be able to hold a reasonable conversation with them and many times you can learn more from them once you get them talking.

iCloud 101 Tutorial

What is it? iCloud is a storage and computing service launched by Apple in October 2011. Currently, there are 320 million users. It allows you to store your data, like music, pictures and apps on remote servers. In today’s world, we have so much data that we are using on our devices, that we run out of space. Now we can store all that data on the cloud and then download it to, or run it through, other devices.

What can we use it for? Basically it lets you access your music, photos, videos, documents, and any other data from whatever device your are using. You can access music on your iPad from your iPhone, etc. This translates into content everywhere. Anything you purchase (think iTunes, App Store, etc.) is automatically available on all your devices. You can also share photos with friends and family by creating a shared photo stream.

I remember a few years ago when I  lost my phone that had ALL my contacts and appointments in it. I was frantic not for the phone, but for the data that it contained. My husband said, “When was the last time you synced your phone?’ It had been over a year. I never took the time to sync the phone to the computer. I hated the process! Fast forward to today’s world of the cloud. Whenever your iOS device is turned on, locked and connected to a power source and WIFI, the data will be backed up to the cloud. Good bye to the idea of syncing the device, It is done for you.

Now that you have a working knowledge of the cloud, how can you initiate a conversation with your child? What better way than to talk about a current event involving the star of Hunger Games? Ask your child if she heard about Jennifer Lawrence’s nude photos being hacked and posted on line. Here is CNN’s story on it:

http://www.cnn.com/2014/09/01/showbiz/jennifer-lawrence-photos/

I believe that one of the best ways to talk to my kids about important topics is to find a non-threatening third party subject to talk about like this recent news story. It creates a conversation where my kids feel free to express their opinions and do not feel the need to defend themselves as it isn’t about them. It also provides living, breathing examples of what can go wrong. The conversation could go in a couple of different directions that open up some great topics for discussion.

1. Talk about the ever popular topic of how secure (never perfectly secure) the Internet really is.
2. How about the idea that once a picture is out there on the Internet, there is a risk that it will get out to an unintended and sometimes very large audience.  Once posted, always posted!
3. Why did Jennifer Lawrence have nude photos on her cloud account at all? Discuss the appropriateness of her photos that were stolen.

Just for fun, try this out tonight at the dinner table. I think you will be amazed at how easily the conversation takes off in several directions!

I failed.  Shoemaker’s children syndrome.  Have you heard of ooVoo?  I have, which makes my failure worse.  After all, it is my job to know the apps kids are using and how to keep them safe while using them.  So what’s the story, you ask?

About a month ago, my daughter, who is 9 years old, mentioned that she was using ooVoo to video chat with her friend that is unable to use Facetime.  As you can imagine, the topic came up at an inconvenient time and I thought ‘Oh, I need to check the settings for her.’  I had the thought, but never had the time.  Unlike some of you, I do know what ooVoo is but I was too busy and too preoccupied at the time to actually check her settings.  Until….someone strange sent her a request, which immediately got my attention!

I have to tell you that I was shocked to hear that she even knew what ooVoo was, much less that she downloaded it and was a user. So I share this with you because most parents have no idea what ooVoo is while their kids are most likely quite familiar with this video chatting service and are actively using it.  For your convenience, here’s a quick 101 on ooVoo:

What is it?  ooVo is a high quality video chat application. Think Facetime or Skype.  It allows people to connect with up to 12 friends at one time and video chat or have a voice call.  You can download it on an iPad, iTouch, iPhone, Android phone, etc.   And shamefully, I tell you that you must be 13 years old to set up an account, which doesn’t slow anyone down who can subtract 13 years from 2014.

What are the concerns for your child using ooVoo?  As with all social media, the main concern is who can search out your child easily.  The easier it is to find the child, the faster a predator will find them, start talking to them and find a way to connect with them without the child realizing what is happening.  The second concern is the way in which ooVoo is being used.  In my case, my daughter was using it with only 2 friends as a way to do crafts with each other – virtually.  Take a second to figure out when, where, and why your child is using this app.

How do you manage your child’s ooVoo account?

1. Always know your child’s password.  This will allow you to ensure that they are using ooVoo safely.
2. Make sure that the privacy settings are properly set up.  Without using the privacy settings, your child can be contacted by anyone at anytime and anyone can see the profile of your child.  I have my daughter’s set to ‘Nobody’ so that only people who know her ooVoo ID can contact her.
3. Review the history of your child’s account.  You will be able to see who they are chatting and messaging with.  Ensure that you know all of these people and are comfortable with it.  Note that your child can erase the history.
4. If your child receives an unwanted friend request, ignore it AND check the box to Also block this person from contacting me again.
5. Frequently review your child’s friends to ensure that you know them all.
6. Remind your child to always log out when they are finished using ooVoo, especially if another person’s device is being used.
7. Learn how to use the product!  If your child knows that you are involved and understand the technology they are using, they will not feel free to do whatever they please because “Mom doesn’t have a clue how this works!”

ooVoo is not necessarily bad.  Like most social media apps, there are some great uses for kids.  For example, working on a group project would be a great use of ooVoo, given the ability to have multiple users on the same video chat session. However, the dangers come when kids use them in unproductive ways and when the privacy settings are not set tightly.  This is where our job as parents is so critical.  This is where I dropped the ball.  Thankfully, my daughter came to me immediately when she received this strange friend request.  I was lucky this time. I vow to pay much closer attention in the future. I hope you do too!