The New Year’s Resolution of a 20 Year-Old: Limit Social Media

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We have been looking for someone “in the trenches” to provide some thoughts on what it is truly like to grow up in this hyper digital age. Thank you to Jacob Kelleher, who is our guest blogger, and wrote this insightful article regarding his struggles around his social media use. We wish Jacob great luck in his efforts to be mindful in this new year and hope he will keep us updated on the progress and results of his resolution.

What’s my 2020 New Year’s resolution you ask? The answer is simple: I want to reduce my social media and screen time. Let me guess. You think I am a 40 some-year-old man who is going to explain to you why the young kids of this new, crazy generation should follow in my wise footsteps and reduce their screen time. Would it surprise you to find out I am only 20? Yes, that’s right. I am a 20-year-old kid who, of my own volition, is choosing to put down my iPhone and log out of my social media. At risk of being shunned by my peers, I want to share a little bit about how and why I came to hold a position that is so seemingly radical for someone of my age.

It all started in the last three months (or so) of 2019. I found myself engaging in behaviors and habits that I was beginning to realize were not all that healthy with regard to screen time. I found myself scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, or Snapchat mindlessly, and I mean that in the most literal sense. I would scroll through my newsfeed on a platform, exit out because I got bored, and almost immediately reopen the app and start scrolling again. Even though I had just decided I was bored, I found myself going back just to scroll. I also found myself having an actual reflex to take out my phone and scroll through social media. If there was a lull in conversation or I wasn’t 100% engaged in conversation, I would open up a social media account just to scroll without even thinking about it. I even began noticing moments where my friends and I would be sitting in silence, all looking at social media on our phones. It was becoming clear to me that these accounts and my phone were becoming a crutch for me to avoid idle time or even social interaction. That was not ok with me.

So in response, I decided to make this idea of less screen time my New Year’s resolution. We all know how easy it is to drop a New Year’s resolution. In fact, recent research shows 88% of people fail to stick to a New year’s resolution. In the hopes of not becoming part of that statistic, I have laid out goals for myself as well as plans for how to achieve them.

My goals are to not use social media for more than two hours each day, not to use social media while spending time with friends or family, and not to use social media just because there is nothing else to do. I think that three specific goals are an appropriately challenging, yet an appropriately attainable amount to aspire for, and I think each one will uniquely help me reduce the problematic habits I have developed over the last few years.

As for the how, the easiest strategy is screen time restrictions. The new iOS software for iPhones allows users to create a list of apps and a time limit. My phone will then lock me out when the combined amount of screen time spent on all those applications in one day reaches the limit. I have made a 2-hour time limit for Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and TikTok. This will force me to only use the applications when I think it is worth my time. For if I don’t, I may get locked out early in the day and be unable to use social media later in the day.

As a second strategy, I’ve also decided to stop charging my phone right next to my bed each night. By putting it out of reach, it prevents social media from being the last thing I see before bed and the first thing I see when I wake up.

The last strategy is the hardest: self-monitoring. It’s on me to continue to be reflective and notice when I am using my phone. If I want to use it less with friends and less in general, I need to be able to notice when I am failing at that goal and put my phone down.

In the end, I am 20 years old. Like many of my peers I love social media and I think (perhaps somewhat naively) the positives vastly outweigh the negatives. However, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. I am hopeful that as technology and development continue to accelerate my peers and the next generations can join me in capitalizing on the benefits of social media while also keeping a watchful eye out to prevent it from taking over our lives.

Jacob Kelleher is a 20 year-old junior at Boston College. He is currently double majoring in Secondary Education and Mathematics and minoring in Educational Theatre. He also is an avid participant in the Boston College Theatre Department and has worked professionally in Chicago as a Stage Manager. He hopes to one day be a high school theatre teacher.

 

Social Media Posts Gone Bad: The Consequences

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Can a pro athlete lose his multimillion-dollar job for what he said online? Just ask Jermaine Whitehead, NFL Cleveland Brown’s safety, who was fired Monday for his “unacceptable and highly inappropriate” twitter posts made after a rough game the previous day.

Can a high school student be arrested for “joking around” about having a school staff member killed via Instagram? Just ask Nicholas Godfrey, a student at Fivay High School, who was arrested last week and charged with 1st degree attempt to solicit murder.

Permanency and lack of privacy are two of the most important concepts kids need to understand about the Internet, specifically the use of social media. EVERYTHING is permanent. NOTHING is private. Educators and parents can attempt to explain this all day. However, the most effective teaching tools, in my opinion, are the real-life stories, experiences, and mistakes of others.

More and more frequently, we are seeing an increasing intolerance to questionable, online posts. This year, in the NFL, more than one player has been released from a multimillion-dollar contract (i.e. being fired), in part, for how they voiced their displeasure with their employers, teammates, and fans via social media. The intolerable act isn’t always the same; it may be the message being communicated and/or the specific words that they chose to use. The message the Cleveland Browns delivered to Jermaine Whitehead was his vulgar and attacking tweets will not be tolerated. If you embarrass and humiliate your employer, whether it be an NFL team or simply Panera, through your use of social media, you will suffer the consequences. A Panera employee’s post on TikTok, where she indicates the company uses frozen, bagged mac and cheese instead of fresh, has been viewed more than 10 million times on Twitter. She, like Jermaine Whitehead, was released from her job for her public comments.

Similarly, Nicholas Godfrey illustrates the seriousness of social media posts. There is no “just joking” out clause, especially when it comes to threats of school violence. Sheriff Chris Nocco said “It doesn’t matter if someone says I was joking, it doesn’t matter what their intent is. When you do it, when you post it out there on social media, you’ve committed that crime”.

My hope is that you share these articles and videos with your kids. My experience with teaching students is examples of real-life people are very impactful. It also provides a safe, non-threatening platform to have discussion about concepts of permanency and privacy online. Some questions you could pose to start a conversation are:

  • Do you think it is fair that these people got fired for tweets and posts they made?
  • Does it matter if you use a private account?
  • Should the student have been arrested for joking about shooting a staff person?
  • Will these posts affect them in the future, like finding another job or getting into college?

Let your kids talk. Listen. Hold your tongue. You may not agree with the answers you hear and that is ok. Simply processing their thoughts and articulating their answers is an important part of the process to understanding these concepts and internalizing them to their own online actions.                 

TikTok Safety: What You Need to Know

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As fall rolls in and the school year is in full swing, the same question is being posed repeatedly from parents: What is TikTok? And the natural follow-up question: Why are kids crazy over this?

Let’s start with the first question. The simple answer is TikTok is an app for creating short videos and sharing them, just like any other social media platform.  However, unlike other social media platforms, the short, 15-second videos replay in a continuous loop and demonstrate entertaining lip-sync, dance, and comedy.  Accounts can be public (sharing with any other user on the platform) or private (sharing only with approved friends on the platform).

Where did TikTok come from?

Does this app sound oddly familiar? It might, as it was originally known as Musical.ly which also became very popular with kids anywhere from 8-18 years old. TikTok was originally created by a Chinese company, ByteDance, and was not available in the United States. In November 2017, ByteDance purchased Musical.ly, and in August 2018, they shut down Musical.ly and merged it into TikTok. Essentially, TikTok is a more robust version of Musical.ly with a far larger, worldwide audience.

How popular is TikTok?

It is widely popular! Here are a few statistics for you:

  • TikTok has 500 million active users worldwide. As a point of comparison, Snapchat has 190 million active users.
  • In September 2019, TikTok became the #1 free non-gaming iOS app in the US.
  • TikTok is the topmost downloaded app in the App Store.
  • More than 1 billion videos are viewed every day.
  • 56% of TikTok users are male compared to 44% female.
  • The average time spent on the site is 52 minutes per day creating, viewing and sharing videos.

What do I need to know about TikTok to keep my child safe?

Quite honestly, the concerns around TikTok are like other social media apps: privacy, content, and connection to other users on the app. Here are some things to consider:

  • Accounts automatically default to public when they are created. Make sure that your child’s account is set to private and periodically double check that your child has not switched back to public. Many kids want to connect to as many people as possible and will change the setting back to public.
  • The app has an age restriction of 13 years. This essentially means that the app is not safe nor appropriate for younger users. While many children just want to create the videos, remember that they can search and view any public videos. There is content on the site that is highly inappropriate for younger kids. If your child is using this, consider using it with them so you can see the content that is being viewed.
  • Direct messaging is available on TikTok. This allows users to communicate with each other within the app itself. Many parents, as a safety measure, periodically check their children’s text messages in an effort to know who they are communicating with and fail to realize that most social media apps have direct messaging features that performs the same function as texting. The main difference is that no phone number is needed. So, any user on TikTok can communicate with friends or strangers on the platform, through the direct messaging feature. Again, privacy settings are important to consider with direct messaging

Kids are finding TikTok to be wildly entertaining, and it provides an excellent space for creativity and connection with others when used safely and appropriately. If you are still wondering what the attraction is and how to interact with your child, you are not alone. Take 2 minutes to view this lovely video created by Reese Witherspoon who asks these same questions to her 15-year-old son.

Is Social Media Creating Stress and Anxiety for Teens?

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Is social media responsible for an increase in teen depression and anxiety? According US News and World Reports, the number of youths with mental health disorders has nearly doubled in the last decade. Many people point directly to the increase in technology in teens lives. It is inarguable that the amount of screen time in the form of social media, gaming, and texting has exponentially increased for all of us in the last decade and especially in the lives of teens. But does this increase result in more anxiety, depression, etc.? The reality is there are articles and research that support both sides of this argument.

Research aside, here is my reality. My 15-year-old daughter is an avid, typical teen user of social media. I feel like she spent most of her summer doing what I refer to as “mindlessly scrolling” through Instagram, Reddit, and Vsco. I held my opinion to myself when I often wanted to exclaim “How has anything possibly changed on Instagram since you last looked at your feed 3 minutes ago?” I knew that this was not a productive question.

One evening I was sitting with her on the front porch and out of the blue and unprompted she says, “My phone is driving me crazy.” I was surprised and very curious where this conversation was going. My instinct told me less is more and to hold my own words tight: let her talk. So, I responded with a simple “Really?”. She then added “Well, it isn’t really my phone. It is Instagram. It is stressing me out! I feel so much pressure to like people’s post and make the right comments. It is hard to keep up.”  This is a teenager that doesn’t often open up like this. So, I knew it must be causing her some real anxiety.

As a mother, I wanted to tell her to put her phone down, stop mindlessly scrolling, Instagram is dumb, and none of it matters. But these were not effective responses to her feelings nor were they solutions that she would embrace. More importantly, I knew those comments were conversation enders, and I wanted to keep this dialog going. I wanted to build her awareness of her social media use and how it makes her feel. If she could identify which part of her use of social media caused her anxiety, then she could possibly develop her own changes to her behavior. This might create more impactful and long-lasting solutions.

Here are the 3 ways that were effective in building her awareness and driving towards her solutions:

  1. I asked questions. I kept the questions simple, and most importantly, I tried to express absolutely no judgement. The goal of the questions was to get her to think and reflect on her use. I asked things like “How do you feel?”, “What would happen if you didn’t keep up?”, “How would your life be affected if you didn’t comment?”
  2. I listened more than I talked. At the age of 15-years-old, she is starting to resist my lectures more than she did a few years ago. Her opinions and knowledge of her world is expanding, and her independence is growing. By listening, she was allowed the space to figure it out herself. Certainly, I interjected some opinions and suggestions, but I kept them very short and simple.
  3. I asked her to come up with 2 or 3 changes to how she uses social media that might reduce her anxiety. Yes, I had about 100 changes I could have suggested or demanded she make, but this was not productive nor sustaining. By the end of the conversation, she had a few things she wanted to work on.

We can read articles and research findings all day, but our own children are living the reality of being tremendously connected to the digital world. That is not changing anytime soon. The goal is to provide a safe, non-threatening place where they can examine, question, and explore their feelings around their own use of technology. Our children are smart, actually smarter than we realize. By providing them empathy, mentoring, and a space to explore, I am hopeful many of them will begin to adapt their digital habits in healthy ways.

Managing Kids and Technology Over Summer – CSC on The Morning Blend Milwaukee

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Cyber Safety Consulting’s Liz Repking appeared on Milwaukee’s Morning Blend to talk about the balance between unstructured summer break time and the use of technology. See the segment here: Managing kids and tech over summer. Here are some suggestions offered to ease the pain and confrontation around kids’ increased screen time:

  • Reset the limits and boundaries around tech use. This is a good time to bring out that tech contract or even work with your child to create one for the summer. Talk about time limits, down time, apps, and of course, the appropriate use of tech.
  • Encourage your child to use technology in more productive ways than just scrolling through Instagram posts. Create a blog on a topic that they are interested in or create a website for fun. My daughter created a website for baking gluten and dairy free desserts. She loves baking and this combines her interests and the use of technology in constructive ways. Check out her site here.
  • Have your child make a list of non tech things he or she enjoys doing…reading, going to the pool, riding a bike. Sometimes the mere act of reminding ourselves what we enjoy not involving a screen can motivate us to put the device down and engage in some long, lost, fun activities. I once heard my son say, after the encouragement to find a non tech activity, “I forgot how much I like to read!”
  • Use technology with your child. Find a game that you can play together or create a summer bucket list of things to do and research it online.
  • See a movie or read a book together that centers around issues kids are dealing with online. Here is a long list of Young Adult books: Internet novels.
  • And like always, be involved and stay current on trends, news, apps, games and websites. Check out this article on Instagram’s new antibullying efforts.

Most importantly, find some non tech time this summer to spend as a family. It could be as simple as going for a walk together and talking or picking a day a week to go ‘tech free’ for the entire family. Decide together how to use non tech time and talk about it.

We hope you enjoy your summer!

New Updates to Instagram: Working to Reduce Cyberbullying

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Fingers are crossed, I hope this works! It is great to read that one of, if not, the leading social media platforms for kids is doing something to reduce the amount of online, cruel behavior that occurs. Instagram posts, comments, and DM’s have served as a too easy and convenient way for kids to bully. Now Instagram will use AI (artificial intelligence) to prompt users to reconsider the action before it is posted.

Is Instagram invoking the concept of “Pause B4 U Post”? This is one of the main objectives of our CASE (Cyber Awareness & Safety Education) curricula we use in schools across the country. The goal is to educate students to self monitor and self protect online. One main tenent of the curricula is to Pause B4 U Post; to think through your actions before that enter or post button is invoked. We suggest students consider one or more of the following questions during that pause:

  • What would happen if my mom or grandma saw this?
  • How will the other person feel when he or she sees this?
  • What story does this tell about me?

It does not matter what the question is as long as the students pause and think. Many students report back to us that when they slow down, pause and consider the consequences of the online post, they often change it, select different words, or skip the post all together.

Instagram is implementing a new feature to curb bullying on the site. AI is being used to flag comments that appear to be offensive or hurtful. It prompts the user with the question “Are you sure you want to post this?” The user then has the option to modify the post or remove it. The decision ultimately lies with the user.

This is a great opportunity to have a conversation with your children on the subject of social media, digital drama, and appropriate online behavior. Print out an article on the new functionality on Instagram, this one or one of the many others you find online. Ask their opinions on how they feel about what Instagram is adding. Listen to how they feel about it and if they think it will help. Kids have experiences and thoughts on what is happening not just on Instagram but all social media and this is an opportunity to hear them. After all, this is their virtual playground and they spend a lot of time there, as we all know.

Kids: Addicted to Smartphones – Let’s Do Something About It!

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Raise your hand if you are concerned about how much time your teen spends on their smartphone. My guess is that if you have a teen (or preteen), your hand went up. So what do we, as parents, do about it, and where can we turn for help?

Is there a social responsibility on the part of technology companies to study what this is doing to the mental health of our youth? To go beyond studying it, but to provide parents with education and tools they need to help kids when they are unable to help themselves?

At least one group recently asked and answered this question with a resounding “YES.” In an open letter to Apple, Inc., a group of shareholders who jointly own $2 billion in Apple stock, have called on Apple to take the lead in paying special attention to the health and development of our next generation. After all, they are the leaders. Apple has provided devices that keep our kids connected, informed, entertained, enthralled and some say addicted, to online information and social media.

The open letter points to research that shows troubling trends. Teachers report that students are more distracted, their ability to focus has decreased and the number of students with social challenges has increased. Additionally, as the time spent on electronic devices increases, the risk of depression, sleep deprivation and the risk factor for suicide also increases.

No one is denying the many benefits and advantages of this connectivity and even the benefits of social media. Nor can we, or the big contributors to this industry, deny the pitfalls and potential damaging effects that are present.

Have parents just surrendered, throwing their hands up in frustration? “Technology! Social media! I just don’t get it!” We, as parents, do bear some responsibility.

  • We need to be involved with our kids.
  • We need to watch what they are doing online and where they are.
  • We need to set good examples through our own use of technology and social media.
  • We need to ask questions, even the tough ones, when we see something on the phones or social media accounts that we deem questionable.
  • We need to ask questions about who or what they are following online, or who is following them.

But we need help. So we turn to Apple, and the other big players in this field, and ask for assistance. Help us. Provide us the tools, in a centralized location, to monitor and limit our kids’ use of their devices. Help us explain to them the potential negative effects of staring at their phones for hours on end, day after day after day.

Key findings from a Common Sense Media survey of parents and teens include:

  • Addiction: One out of every two teens feels addicted to his or her device, and the majority of parents feel that their kids are addicted.
  • Frequency: 72% of teens and 48% of parents feel the need to immediately respond to texts, social-networking messages, and other notifications; 69% of parents and 78% of teens check their devices at least hourly.
  • Distraction: 77% of parents feel their children get distracted by their devices and don’t pay attention when they’re together at least a few times per week.
  • Conflict: 36% of parents and 32% of teens say they argue with each other on a daily basis about device use.
  • Risky behavior: 56% of parents admit they check their mobile devices while driving; 51% of teens see their parents checking/using their mobile devices when driving.

Technology companies have helped to provide a way to open our kids’ minds and their worlds to different cultures, music from spanning generations, the ability to communicate with kids their age across the globe, to stay in touch with relatives, to access a recipe at the touch of a few buttons, to showcase their talents and many other educational and social benefits, and for that we say “thank you.”

Kids are smart, smarter than ever these days.  They know what they want and need.  They just don’t always know how to get there. So, we ask the technology companies, yes, Apple, we start with asking you, to commit resources to this end. Help us to help the next generation of thinkers, innovators, creative and brilliant minds, the generation that believes they can do anything, to help provide the tools we need to help them reach their full potential.

Should Parents Be Concerned about 13 Reasons Why?

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Rewind to spring 2017…13 Reasons Why was all the rage in both middle and high schools, especially among girls. The hottest questions on the table for parents were “Should I allow my child to watch this?” Or even more basic, “What is this show I keep hearing about?” School administers were facing the same questions and dealing with the students’ discussions in the classrooms and hallways. This Netflix series, produced by Selena Gomez, was the buzz!

13 Reasons Why is the story of Hannah Baker, a high school teen who commits suicide, leaving behind audio tapes identifying 13 people or reasons for killing herself. The series deals with topics such as sexual assault, substance abuse, bullying, and obviously, suicide.

I wanted to watch if for myself, both as a professional working with students and parents and as a parent of a, then, 12 year old girl. I was receiving emails and calls daily from parents, administrators, and teachers. I found the entire series difficult to watch. It was uncomfortable. It was depressing. It was sad. I started. I stopped. I went back. I was relieved when I finished the final episode. The buzz seemed to die down as spring turned into summer.

I tried to answer the question being asked repeatedly, “Should I allow my child to watch this?” I considered it as a professional, but I could not factor out the mother in me. I kept thinking of my own 12 year old daughter, and my gut instinct said “NO”! Honestly, some of the scenes are graphic, including Hannah’s actual suicide, in episode 13, in a bathtub, slitting her wrists. It was haunting and I could not actually watch this scene. I could not see any upside to my own daughter watching a suicide, fictional or not.

Fast forward to spring 2018…13 Reasons Why, Season 2 arrived in my Netflix queue. My heart sank. What more is there to depict? Suicide, rape, alcohol, drugs…they covered them all in Season 1, pretty thoroughly. The first episode starts out with this message from the cast encouraging people who feel troubled or in danger to get help, talk about it, or not watch the show. Frankly, most people watching, will fast forward right through this.

Is a show that addresses such mature and difficult topics appropriate for middle school students? Some argue it raises awareness on these topics that are relevant in our current environment. Others argue that younger teens, some who haven’t even hit puberty yet, cannot comprehend the magnitude of these subjects. One middle school teacher wrote this:

My stomach turns and drops multiple times a day, every single day without fail, listening to my students talk so casually about suicide in reference to this Netflix show. “I would have done it like this”, “she should have done it this way” “you are one of my 13 reasons why (this one was a new one today and directed at me “as a joke”)”, “I’m going home and recording my tapes after school”, “go and pull a Hannah.” Each statement is followed by laughter.

I keep coming back to the question “Should I allow my child to watch this?” This is a personal, parenting decision. My suggestion in finding your own answer to this question, like all things, is to take the time to educate yourself first. Then make an informed decision. Parents need to consider the pros and cons of this complex subject matter along with the maturity of the child.

  • Watch a few episodes for yourself
  • Do some research. Read things like this CNN article. Read reviews on  reputable sites like Common Sense Media.
  • Talk to other parents. A group consensus among the parents’ of your child’s friends can be very powerful.
  • Ask your child what he or she knows about the show. I guarantee that they know about it and have some opinions to offer.

If you ultimately decide it is appropriate for your child to view, view it with him or her. It might present some great opportunities for valuable discussion and ongoing dialog on these critical topics. Try to do more listening than talking. And finally, talk about people who have overcome such struggles. Highlight ways to deal with things like depression and anxiety in real life. Pose hypothetical situations like “what would you do if your friend told you she was going to commit suicide?” Most importantly, provide some real life stories and examples like these in this campaign by the Houston County Board of Education.

Response to Shootings: Be Involved in Children’s Digital Media Lives

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The tragic school shootings last week, in Parkland, FL, is a call to action on so many levels that we, as a country, need to address. However, this is also a call to action that we, as parents, can address immediately and with our own children. We need to be more involved in our children’s digital media lives!

Schools and parents are grappling with what messages to communicate to children as we process these horrific events. But first we need to understand the sources of the messages our children are receiving, what video footage they are seeing, and most importantly, how they are processing all this content.

It is inarguable that children see information about this event and feel a large number of emotions ranging from sadness to depression to anxiety. We as parents need to be our children’s first responders to these emotions.

According an to article by Marketing Charts, Common Sense Media reports 49% of teens say they get their news from social media…places like Facebook, Snapchat, and YouTube. There certainly are questions of the quality of the news. However, it is crucial  parents monitor the content and the reaction of their children to these events and the digital media that they follow. (Did you realize that the Discover function of Snapchat is one of the most popular ways that teens get their information on current events?)

When I was a child, I watched coverage of world events on a television, in a living room, with family members. My parents could sensor or filter what I heard or how much information I watched about the event. They could see how I reacted to the information. How did I process this in my fragile tween and teen brain? Could I handle it? Did I need to talk about it?

Fast forward to today. Children watch coverage and learn details, on a smartphone, in a bedroom, alone. They see graphic videos and read about teachers hiding with students in a closet, while a shooter is on the loose in a school. They process their emotions of fear, anxiety and sadness alone and without conversation with family, thus missing out on reassurance and comfort. We, as our children’s parents, need to do all we can to help them make, if even possible, any sense of these situations. We need to create dialog about what they should do if they see any type of messages on social media alluding to the possibility of such events.

While there are numerous calls to action that we as a country need to address, there is also a call to action that we as parents need to address. We need to find out what our children are doing with their devices. We need to understand the digital content they are consuming. And finally, we need to explore their feelings as it relates to technology and the events of the world we live in. We need to be involved in their online lives!

Snapchat Trends: Snap Map

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Note: This is the second of three articles on Snapchat. If you missed the first article, take a look: Snapchat Trends: Streaks and Scores.

I asked my 16 year old son’s friend, Nick, what he thought about Snapchat’s newest feature, Snap Map. His response was immediate and strong: “It’s creepy!”

At the end of June, Snapchat released an update to the app which includes Snap Map. This new feature allows a user to share location with all Snapchat friends, a few friends that are selected, or disappear from the map at anytime, referred to as “Ghost Mode”. When enabled, a friend can activate Snap Map and an icon representing the user will appear on the map in the user’s exact current location.

Concerns

So what should parents know about this? The first thing to consider is the critical issue of privacy and how much information our kids are sharing on social media. Privacy is one of the most difficult messages to get kids to understand and the perception that things disappear from Snapchat only clouds this message. Once something goes online, including Snapchat, privacy has been forfeited forever. I also talk to kids about the risks of “checking in” with a current location. Letting the world know an exact location at any given time is opening a huge window into your child’s private world, including home address, friends’ home addresses, school, and favorite hang out spots. Believe it or not, kids struggle to realize that they are communicating all that information.

So now enters the functionality of Snap Map, which can potentially allow any person who is a Snapchat “friend” to track your child’s every movement.  Let’s think about this… according to Statista, 79% of responding Internet users, aged 13 to 24, use Snapchat.

Snapchat is reported to have 100 million daily active users. I don’t have to do the math to know that if a large number of that 100 million are our children who have Snap Map enabled, there are a lot of locations being shared online!

Another issue to consider relates to exclusion and friendships. Snapchat describes Snap Map “as a way to meet up with friends in real life rather than just watching each other’s lives on your phone.” A noble idea, to say the least. So I asked a 16 year old girl what she thought of this idea. She talked about this being another way that social media can hurt people’s feelings. She said that because she could see Snap Map with all of her friends together, she will know when her friends were getting together WITHOUT her. She added “I would just rather not know if I’m not invited. Sometimes I’m not included and that’s ok. I get it. But I don’t need to see it.” The insights that teens provide can be sobering and eye opening. She was right. We don’t need to always know what our friends are doing and sometimes we are not included.

If you are like me, the first thing I wondered was if my own children have Snap Map enabled. Obviously I could simply ask them, but that is not always the best first approach as it can lead to some defensiveness, a sure conversation blocker. One suggestion would be to simply ask them if they have heard about it. In my house, that question usually initiates a quick eye roll (which I ignore) and then some explanation of what it is. If you can provide a place for your kids to talk about it openly, you might get a feel for where you need to go with the conversation. When given the proper platform, teens can do a good job of communicating their opinions on these issues. For younger tweens and teens, this is a great opportunity to talk about privacy and sharing of sensitive information.

Helpful Hints

  • Location sharing is off by default, in Ghost Mode.
  • It is not possible to share locations unless you are friends on Snapchat.
  • Snap Map is accessed by going to the camera screen and pinching your fingers together as if you are zooming out of a picture.
  • The location is updated on the Snap Map ONLY when Snapchat is open. The location is not updated in the background of the app.
  • Snaps that are submitted to Our Story can still show up on the map even in Ghost Mode.